What's he doing right now?

I have been struggling again today.

I keep thinking about whether he really has moved on and if I should check his Facebook to see what he's up to. I want to just call him and tell him I miss him and hope that he still feels the same way, but I don't want to get stuck in the same cycle again.

I just want him to come back and want me again. It hurts so much knowing he's happy with a new girl and I'm still unable to move on. But I know there is no going back because he doesn't love me or want me.

Maybe I should have said yes to Brad and just forced myself to move on. I'm scared that time is running out too. I'm twenty. How much longer do I have to fall in love? I feel like everyone has already found their soulmate and there's no-one out there waiting for me.

What's he doing right now? I wonder if he even thinks about me or wonders where I am? I don't know what will happen when we go back to university in January either. Would we still ignore each other or will we both find the courage to be friends?