"I recognise that coat, and those shoes"

I avoided university the entire day yesterday because I didn't want to risk running into Adam. I slept late and then 'missed' my lectures. Then, instead of heading off to the library like I normally would, I decided that it was "too cold outside and I could easily be productive in my room". This was a lie. I didn't do one minute of productive work.

Then today, I avoided my lectures again, hiding out in an obscure part of the library.

Finally at 5, I left to go to a meeting early because I knew he had  a class in the same building at 5pm, so I didn't want to risk running into him.

When the meeting ended at 6, I left immediately and took the lift down (he always takes the stairs as I was on the fourth floor and his class in only on the second floor). I left and started walking towards halls.

I had my ipod with me and was listening to "Wrong Man For The Job" by Jojo. An appropriate song, one of the lyrics is "Can't believe it took me so long to realise, finally know what it feels like, you're the wrong man for the job".

Just before I had reached the station, someone brushed past me and I looked up from my ipod screen. I recognised the coat. It was a big, brown, winter coat that I had always hated because it was too big for him and it had a really rough texture. My heart sped up. I recognised those shoes too. He used to wear those shoes claiming they gave him extra height as they had hidden 'heels'. Then I noticed the bag. He was holding a Ann Summers bag - he'd been buying lingerie. He must have bought it for Jemma.

He must have seen me. He would have recognised me from the back too.

He sped up. I fell behind. We reached a slow moving crowd as we neared the station and I ended up almost next to him. I ignored him and carried on walking. We were walking shoulder to shoulder for about one minute until I overtook the couple in front of us and walked on. I didn't look back. He didn't catch up with me.

He would have turned into the station. I walked past.

I feel shaken. I still miss him. I was hoping and hoping that I would not run into him before the end on term. I needed the Christmas break to recover and I didn't want anything to get in the way of that. But seeing him brought back all those feelings. I remembered how he would keep me warm when it was as cold as it was tonight. But then I also realised that he had moved on. The Ann Summers bag was an obvious indication for me to notice a sign hanging on him saying "I'm over you, move on, bitch."

My head just doesn't get the message.