A broken friendship

A few days ago I had an argument with my roommate, Britney.

I had only become good friends with Britney this time last year and we had got along very well. I enjoyed her friendship and since we had started sharing rooms in October, we had developed a weird mind-reading connection as we knew each other so well.

But a few days ago it all broke down. I had known when I agreed to share a room with her that we would have loud arguments, but I also thought that we would become best friends. Then I started noticing just how immature and inconsiderate she could be. There would be times when she would delete my posts from her Facebook wall because it looked like I was the only one posting on her wall and she wanted it to be many people so she looked 'popular'.

She would also go on about how many likes a comment she made had got or if someone she didn't know well liked her picture. There were times when I would be crying because of Adam and she would make an insensitive joke. Or she would bring him up in conversations and say things like "I wish I get a boyfriend like Nick (one of our friends), not like Adam! That was unfortunate."

Or she'll give me empty threats to never advice me on anything saying "You don't listen to me anyway, so I refuse to say anything about your relationship or anything else."

She would also tell everyone how she loves them even after a few days of knowing the person and she would go on about every guy who looked her way. Often I would get mad when I would find out that she had told many of our mutual friends and some of her friends who I didn't know well about what had happened between me and Adam. Considering that I didn't want it to become common knowledge and for my pain to be spread all over campus, this hurt.

Eventually something had to give.

And it happened last week.

Britney had just got back from a weekend in Barcelona. She had gone there with two of her friends and she was excited and wanted to tell me all about it.

While she had been away I went on a date with Branton and on the day she was leaving I had told her that I was going on a date that night.

"And I care because...?" She had replied.

Taken aback, but knowing she was busy packing, I let it go.

She got back on Monday morning.

I found out that she was skyping with one of our mutual friends that night and she didn't tell me. By chance, I had also tried to arrange a skype date with the same friend, and she told me that her and Britney were speaking that night. Britney didn't mention it at all and I realised that she didn't want me to be involved.

I had meant to tell her all about my date. But I wanted her to ask. I had mentioned it that morning when we were both getting dressed and I wanted her to care enough to ask.

She didn't.

Then it was time for her skype chat and she started skyping. I was in a twist. Branton had asked me to meet up, but so had Mack and Brad. I was feeling overwhelmed from all the attention and just wanted to be left alone. And I needed to talk. So I invited my friend Sunny over. I needed advice and support and I really needed it at that moment.

Sunny came over immediately. I told her what had happened with Branton and showed her all the texts. Halfway through our conversation and discussion, Britney finished skyping. She then turned around and demanded to know what we were talking about. I said I would tell her later and it really was no big deal anyway. I felt like she didn't care and she wouldn't want to know.

Over the past few months, when ever I had come close to crying, I had simply left the room and gone to see Sunny or just gone for a walk. I felt like I was a constant distraction to her and I would be imposing myself on her as a burden. I didn't want that and I didn't want to have to 'owe' her anything. So I would just leave.

She continued to demand to know which guy I was talking about and I continued refusing. Eventually she got up and went to her desk, saying "I am not talking to you again."

I ignored her, knowing her tendency to make such empty threats. But this time she wanted to drag it on.

After Sunny left, I started telling Britney about the date.

"No, I don't want to hear anything."

"But, you did! And I was going to tell you once Sunny had left. Now she has, so I want to tell you."

"I don't care. I don't want to hear anything."

"I'm really sorry for ignoring you, but I was freaking out and I just really needed to talk and didn't want to explain it to you then."

"Mhmmm"

"Brit, it's true. You know I wouldn't hide anything from you!"

I continued apologising and she continued rebuffing my attempts until I gave up and left to go for a shower - at 2am in the morning.

When I returned I asked if she was ready to hear my side of the story yet. She said no. I decided that I would leave it for now and pursue this again tomorrow.

I couldn't sleep well and got up early. I had a 9am class to rush to, but I left behind a note saying I was sorry and I did trust her, but just wanted to tell her later. I had expected to receive a message saying she had seen it, but I didn't get any texts from her, and I didn't enquire. I knew we had to discuss it though, it was too difficult otherwise and I didn't want her to hold a grudge against me.

(to be continued)