2 weeks today

It's been two weeks since I've had any contact (save the unknown phonecall) from Adam.

He went home two weeks ago and then said he didn't want to come back to London early because it was his sister's birthday and he 'loved' her. I replied saying that if he really wanted to spend time with her, why was he out with his friends on two of the nights?

We argued on bbm and he deleted me. This was the third time he had deleted me and I'd had enough.

It was a cycle. He deleted me, then begged me to readd him for days. I eventually agreed to readd him and he would delete me again! It was torture. He would get my hopes up and then let me down.

After he deleted me this time, I made up my mind to not contact him again. He texted me on Monday saying that he wasn't back in London yet, but hopefully will be by Monday night. I was so tempted to reply, but I didn't. I wasn't going to be played again.

He didn't text me again until Friday night when he went out with one of his friends and got really drunk:

"I miss you like crazy"
"Meet me tonight? Late?"
"I have been thinking a lot about stuff and I'm crazy about you baby"
"Let's be together forever"
"I NEED to tell you some things"
"Cmon baby let's be one again"
"Meet me tonight?"
"Please baby? Xx"
"This week's been the hardest ever. Please. I need you."
"Cmon baby"
"Amy, I'm asking you here"
"We're not dead we can be alive"
"Meet mee?"
"Please?"
"Be with me tonight no one else"
"Please gurl"
"Look I've text u loads without sending because I'm fucking scared but please text me baby. I'm in love with you I need you to talk. X"
"Baby I love you I can't get over ylouu and I don't want you"
"To get over me either"
"I hate that you are so cute cos you've always bin able to have any guy and that fucking scares me"
"But I am true there has been no-one else"
"Baby can you text me u have been on my mind for a YEARRR and nothing changes that...please can we meet for coffee tomorrow? X"
"Baby it's simple: I love you."
"Baby pleaseeeee text me back"
"I know u r probably over me in an instant but I am not over you"
"I need you baby"
"Will you come back to me, text me at least/"
"Last time we talked we couldn't wait to kiss each other again"
"Baby think about all those streets we walked down and all those good times we had? Let's have them again??"
"Please gurl I'm dying without you"
"Wtf u block me? Is it any fucking wonder I can't try to get u back?"
"I'm trying my heart out and the worst thing is u don't know it"
"I told everyone I'm after one girl and it's you"
"Be with me baby"

When he texted me, I got my hopes up and felt that he really meant it and would have deleted all those girls he tried to get with. He might have told them that he wants me and no-one else, but I was wrong. The same night he called me a "bitch" to his friends and said he wants a new baby, maybe Alice. He continued flirting with all the girls he met and had been with over the Summer. And my heart shattered even more. He made me feel wanted and then tore me down.

Saturday
"Amy. Text me."
"I'm at some party"
"Telling ppl I have a gf"
"What the fuckk is wrong with me"
"I love u baby"
"See me tomorroww?"

He texted me until 11pm and I know he lied about telling everyone he had a girlfriend because he met Jemma at this party. He said her and him made out loads, which shows he couldn't care less about me. It hurt like hell, but I realised (finally) that it just wasn't meant to be - me and him were not 'forever and always'.

I couldn't stop crying the entire day on Sunday and Monday. I left classes and lectures early and avoided contact with everyone simply because I was broken as hell. But I know it has also made it easier for me. Now that he has moved on, I know I can never take him back. I was waiting for this moment. I gave him too many chances to prove that he wants me, it's time to face the fact that he doesn't.