Dear Best Friend,
I wanted to give you this before you left because it means so much to me and I think that it is so important that you know this. I told you earlier today (I'm writing this on 10.12.12) that you are the best friend I have ever had and I meant it. I've always been pretty popular (and modest, obviously!) and I've always had loads of friends and people who claim to be 'there' for me, but after the hell I've been through in the past few months I've had a chance to find out who my real friends are.
This has literally been the worst time of my life and for the first time I've had to force myself to let people in. But not everyone I've trusted has tried to make sure I'm okay, not everyone has cared enough, so I've stopped reaching out to them for help. I feel like I'm imposing my troubles on them, but you've never ever made me feel that way and you've been there every second of the way, always been there whenever I needed a hug or just someone to listen.
I don't believe that there is as much good in the world as we all like to believe, as morbid and awful as that sounds, but I genuinely think that you are one of those few people who is extremely beautiful inside and out. You are one of those people who has changed me for the better. Your presence and you just being there is enough for me, because I know I trust you and rely on you. You give people hope and you give me so much more than that, especially over the last few months.
I've always found it so hard to trust, but you're probably the one person who has managed to break down the guard I've had up for so many years. It makes me very vulnerable too and a part of me is scared every day that I'll end up hurt again, but for the first time I'm willing to take the risk. Please don't make me regret it? I don't know how much more I can take.
More than just being there, you've helped fill the hole in my heart. This term I've felt so lonely and lost and the times when you've just texted to ask to meet up or ask how my day was meant so much when I felt so alone. I even put up with waiting for you to collect your food!
I don't think you even know how special a person you are at times (or your head would be much bigger!). You have the ability to transform lives and you've definitely transformed mine for the better. You have no idea how much you mean to me, I would be stupid to try and put that into words. I know I've been a pain at times, and I know it very well, but you've been there regardless, letting me talk about the same drama again and again, and that means everything.
Knowing that you were there for me when I was giving up was an incredible, reassuring feeling. I have struggled a lot recently ( more than I've even let show) and all I needed was for people to be nice to me, no jokes, no sarcasm, just being nice and caring. I don't think anyone, but you, understood that, and yet you don't see how much you have to offer to people. I know I'm still going to struggle for a while. This won't be over soon. Everyone keeps telling me that time will make it all better and I will find someone who's perfect for me, but I don't know if I'll ever be with someone who'll make me happy again. Spending time with you makes it a bit better. I can't stop crying just while writing this down! Stupid of me, right!? I want to say thank you, but words don't feel enough.
You are the best friend I've ever had and probably ever will have. And I want you to know that always. I'm going to miss you like crazy over the holidays and I'll probably call too much, but you're worth it!
I haven't forgotten about your birthday present either. I've just been searching for something special to show you how much you mean to me. You'll get it when I manage to find it. I've already written more than I've ever written for any essay and I am really proud of that, but I'm going to stop now. I was going to send this as a Facebook message, but this feels much more personal and requires a lot more effort.
I'm going to really miss you and you'll be my best friend forever. I want to thank you for everything you've helped me with and I want you to know that I'm here for you too. No matter how busy I am or how big my problems may be, I'll always have time for you.
I love you, best friend,
Amy
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