It's an eerie feeling.
I'm hurting so much in this moment but I also have a really odd feeling of acceptance. I have finally realised that me and Adam just weren't meant to be.
Every time I look back at our relationship I just remember the good times. I forget about his flaws and everything he did to intentionally hurt me. How can you even imagine causing pain to someone you love? This also confirmed that I was never in love with him. I wanted him to pay for what he had put me through - that's not love. I should have noticed earlier. Could I even imagine hurting my parents or my sister? Even unintentionally? Or emotionally? No. And he hurt me emotionally and physically.
I've finally woken up.
I can't believe it's taken this long. But it is the first day of a new year. This is the right time for me to follow my heart and be happy on my own. I've wasted so many tears and so much time on him.
He doesn't deserve a moment more of my time.
But I'm not deluded. I know that realisation is not the immediate magical cure to recovery. I'm going to hurt for a while and I will have to deal with seeing him around university in approximately a week's time. Yet now I have the strength to move on because I've finally realised what I should have known in August.
It just wasn't meant to be.
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