Crocodile tears

I have been thinking about why I was so unwilling to leave Adam. The moment he started crying my heart would open up and I would feel ashamed that I could ever contemplate leaving a guy who was obviously so in love with me that it made him cry (remember the Westlife song?).

Until today I never really doubted his tears. But today I seem to have noticed that they helped him get whatever he wanted. For example, just before summer, when our relationship first started showing cracks, I suggested we take a break for the summer and he started crying and questioned, "How can you do this to me, don't you know how much I love you?"

I was completely shaken and said that I didn't mean it seriously and it was just a suggestion, ofcourse we didn't have to take a break if he didn't feel like we should. There ended that conversation. Somewhere is his rather small head, it must have clicked that tears were the way forward.

It seems to have taken me a long time to realise that they were just crocodile tears. He was using my emotional vulnerability to try to get me to hold on and not let go of him. I simply believed them. But I have also learnt my lesson that emotions and what the person says is much less important than what they do. If they go hot and cold on me and their actions don't match their words, it is a clear sign that I can't have a fulfilling relationship with them.

I hope this is a lesson I won't forget soon and I won't fall for tears again. I need more than just being washed over with emotion.