I talked about the Post break-up guy attempt 2, where a guy called Branton asked me out to dinner. I was excited about meeting up with him, but all I really wanted was to enjoy myself and hope that it went well.
But what I hadn't expected was my first proper date...ever.
While with Adam, I was never taken out to a nice restaurant (McDonalds is as fancy as it got for us) and he never really offered to pay for anything - eight months into the relationship and I still paid for 'my' half every time. I guess I didn't really miss being treated as much as I would have if I had known what it was like to feel special. Last Thursday Branton showed me.
I had finished late and rushed back to my Halls, having barely half an hour to get changed and get ready. I was considering changing my clothes, but didn't want to seem like I had tried too hard. I thought that it would be best to just stay in the clothes I had worn this morning so that he didn't think I had gone home just to change for him. But when one of my friends walked in as I was deliberating what to wear, she seemed aghast at me deciding to wear a very casual, vintage sports look t-shirt.
"I think you should perhaps change into something a little nicer," she suggested.
"I considered a dress, but I don't want to give him the wrong impression."
"NO dress! Not only is it -1 degrees outside, but that will definitely give him the wrong impression."
"Okay, how about this top?"
I held up a flowy sea-green top that was comfortable and clung onto my curves in the right places. Receiving her approval, I also put on an under-shirt as the top was slightly see-through and I wanted to be on my best 'friendly' behaviour.
"Make sure you give your best friend vibes."
"I will. I will ask him mid-way through dinner, 'Hey can you feel that? Those super friendly vibes'"? I winked at her.
We laughed and I continued getting ready. I hoped Branton wouldn't expect me to kiss him. I didn't want to.
I left and walked down to Covent Garden station.
I arrived at the station and texted him to let him know I was there. I was worried that he would ask me where I wanted to go and I really didn't want to be the one deciding. Not only because I barely knew the restaurants around the area, but also because I wanted to be with a guy who knew how to plan and act on them. After Adam, I needed a break from being the one who took all the initiative.
He texted me back soon afterwards saying he had also arrived.
He was still in the suit he had worn on the day and I was glad that I had changed into a nicer top, the sports top would not have been formal enough at all.
"Hi"
"Hi," I replied.
"I was trying to find you and couldn't see you!"
"I was just over there. And I was on time!"
We started walking and he led. It seemed like he had already decided where we were going to go. I was glad there had been none of the "What do you feel like doing?"
We arrived at Carluccio's. I was surprised. It was a very upscale Italian restaurant. And it was very romantic. I felt a bit uncomfortable too.
Branton had booked a table for us. I was really started to like this guy. He probably didn't even know. We were led upstairs by the waitress and she showed us to a table for two near the window. It was the best restaurant I had been to in a while.
We sat down and scanned the menu while we talked. I had expected the conversation to be awkward, but we seemed to have so much in common. I wished that I found him more physically attractive. He was a really nice guy, but until I felt the butterflies, I didn't feel like I could be with him as anything more than a friend.
The dinner was amazing and the conversation didn't stall. He made me laugh and even laughed at my poor attempts at humour. We were one of the last people to leave the restaurant and he paid for me. I have never had a guy pay for the entire dinner (with the exception of family members) and I was flattered. It really was my first proper date.
When we left he asked me how I was getting home. I said I was walking and he offered to walk back the way I was going. I accepted the offer. He walked me halfway and then I said I had to go the other way and he turned to me. I felt really awkward. I didn't know what to do.
"I had a really nice time tonight. Thanks." I said.
"Yes, so did I."
"Oh and do send me the link about Wicked, I want to see it." We had talked about my favourite musical, Wicked, and he had suggested I watch the last performance of one of the main characters.
"Ofcourse! Yes, I will."
We were silent for a split second and then I said "Bye, Branton." He returned the goodbye and I walked off. We didn't even shake hands or hug. I was pleased he hadn't tried anything.
He texted me before I even got back and asked to meet the following Thursday, telling me he had had a really good night. I didn't reply as I wasn't sure how I felt. I liked him, but as a friend. I enjoyed his company, but didn't want any romantic/physical relationship.
I guess I don't want him to be my rebound. He is a really nice guy and I know he could make me happy, but I want to find the right person for me, and I just don't feel like it's him and this time I am going to listen to my 'gut'. My 'inner voice'.
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