I recently started posting on a relationship website/blog after being a regular reader for the past few months and at first the advice/comments I received were kind, the mood soon turned sour and I got a few replies along the lines of "What the hell are you doing, you selfish cow?" without the explicit rudeness.
I was angry and upset and vowed never to post again, but I soon decided to look at it in another way. I was wrong. I WAS using the dates I had gone on for an ego-boost. I wanted the attention. Sure, the comments were wrong in assuming I let the guy pay - I paid half. But the essentials were the same, I was leading these guys on while knowing that I was not interested in pursuing a relationship with them because I was still hurting and still healing.
So I have made up my mind to tell Branton. I need to talk to him and clarify that I am not looking for a boyfriend but just a friend. Then I will see how it goes. If he really likes me he would be willing to be my friend and I would be happy. If not though, am I ready to lose the happiness he had brought into my life?
I'm not sure, but I know I can't keep dragging it on. It's not fair to him and it is not fair to me.
I don't know how to tell him, or when to tell him yet, but I know I need too. And soon.
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